Introduction

Please feel free to comment, critique and ask questions.

Welcome to the Blog for my Work-In-Progress Novel "This Rising Darkness."

While reading, I would like you to keep in mind that this is a first draft. this means that it is un-edited and un-revised. There are going to be errors, plot-holes, and horrible dialogue. Most writers will tell you that stories really come out in revision, at least any that I've talked to have said that.

That being said, I hope you enjoy the story I have written and feel free to comment. Feel free to give constructive criticism in any responses you have

Monday, February 8, 2010

Chapter 2 - Preparation

Matthew stood ten paces from the wall, knife in hand. He stared at the point in the wall he hoped to hit. Knife throwing wasn’t a strong point of his. His accuracy at ten paces was mediocre at best. He could sometimes hit the target, however, most throws missed their mark.

He remembered everything Vansen had taught him when it came to throwing knives. The importance wasn’t the distance as much as it was in the throw. Of course, Vansen was deadly accurate at nearly forty paces.

Matthew took a deep breath, imagining the throw, imagining the distance being closer than it was. He began to throw the knife, releasing the breath as he went. The knife cut through the air, quickly closing the ten paces before slamming into the wall. The blade was buried nearly the length of the first knuckle of his first finger. The depth was good, but he’d missed his mark by a hand-width.

“Not bad,” Vansen said from behind him, “But you’re still concentrating too much on the throw. Just let it come naturally. You’re mind will fill in the gaps automatically, you don’t have to force it.”

Vansen flourished his hand and a knife appeared in it. He quickly threw the knife, only glancing at the wall as he did so. It pierced the mark on the wall. Quickly he threw two more knives. They both crowded the first knife on the white circle.

Matthew let out a laugh, “Maybe you’re just better at it than I am. I’ll stick with the skills I do have for now.”

“That might be for the best. Come on, time for the meeting.”

Vansen turned and headed for the office, shouting for everyone to gather up before he went in. Matthew followed him through the doorway and found his corner. He leaned back against the wall and waited as everyone entered and found their spots.

Once the last members sat down, Vansen began, “All right, you all know I’m not one for beating around the bush, so here’s the deal. We’ve been asked to pull a heist…”

Vansen was cut off before he could continue, “Wait a minute, I thought we didn’t steal for others?” It was Sarrich, the young boy had only joined the crew a couple months before and had a problem with Vansen’s rules, always pushing them to their limit without actually breaking them.

Matthew had always thought that the rules were simple. Only steal what you or the crew needed and don’t rat out anyone on the crew. Anyone found breaking those rules was turned out on the street and left on their own. Sarrich thought the rules were unfair. He thought that just because some people had jobs and could live a comfortable life, why should he suffer with the bare minimum. The crew was about survival, something that Sarrich didn’t understand. But he knew that he couldn’t make it on his own, not without getting caught by the guard, and following Vansen’s rules seemed easier than a life in prison.

“Usually we don’t, but I’m making an exception this time, we don’t have enough saved up for the warehouse payment yet and the request came from an old friend,” Vansen looked around the room as many people gave him curious looks, “Miktan Lonstrat.”

There were a few looks of shock, but more of happiness. There wasn’t a child that came out of the orphanage that didn’t know Miktan. He regularly visited, recounting tales and legends. Miktan had been a bard before retiring and living a life of comfort in Garlin. He was a friend to any of the kids, and his visits were always met with gifts and great stories.

“All right then,” Sarrich started, “What’s the job.”

Vansen smiled, “We’ve been asked to retrieve an item of his that is currently held in one of the noble’s treasure rooms.”

“Which one?” someone asked before Vansen could continue.

Vansen shot a look to whoever it was that had spoken before continuing, “House Danar.”

There was more than one gasp that went through the group. Even Matthew was surprised. He never imagined that Vansen would dare pull a job against one of the high houses, let alone Danar. Lord Danar had a reputation in Garlin of being one of the cruelest lords. To ask mercy from Lord Danar was like trying to ask a starving hound to not eat a cut of meat set before it.

“You’ve got to be crazy,” Randson exclaimed, “I heard the last thieves caught in Danar’s vault were tried and executed before the day was out. You’ve got to be mad to think we could pull off a job like that. Even if it was to steal a flower from his outer gardens, it’s mad. His guards might as well be ordered to kill first and ask later.”

Vansen waited for the crew to settle before continuing, “I know it is going to be dangerous, but as with any job I organize, involvement is completely voluntary. If you don’t want in, or think that it is too dangerous, you are welcome to leave.”

A large number of people stood and exited the room. Randson and Sarrich among them. Matthew was surprised to see Tavira stand and leave. She tended to be more of a thrill-seeker than any other in the crew, besides maybe Vansen. Soon it was just Vansen, Matthew, Natt, and Dell left in the room. Natt and Dell were new to the crew, and had only joined in the last month or so. Vansen looked at the boys and motioned to the door.

“Aw, come on Vansen, we deserve to be part of this as much as anyone else. We want to pull our weight around here.” Natt spoke up.

“Yeah Vansen, give us a shot.” Dell said.

“Guys, it’s nothing against you, I just need people with a little more experience for this job. The Danar estate isn’t someplace you guys need to be, not yet at least. Just keep up with what you’re doing and we’ll see about getting you in on the next job.”

Matthew smirked as the two left the room, heads hung low, “I know how they feel,” he said after the door closed behind them, “it’s rough at that age, being part of the crew.”

“What’re you talking about, each one of them is twice the thief you were at their age.” Vansen smiled before motioning Matthew over to the table, “All right, let’s get started on this plan.

————————

Alexander had finished setting up his camp just as Jogan approached him. The man saluted before speaking, “Lieutenant, the patrols are all back and report that there is nothing in the area we need to be concerned with.”

Alexander brought his right fist to his chest, just over his heart, returning the salute, “Very well Jogan, I’ll be sure to report to the Captain. Make sure everyone’s camp is set up and that everyone has gotten something to eat. We should be arriving at Garlin tomorrow, so be sure to get a good nights rest tonight.”

“Of course Lieutenant,” Jogan paused for a moment before speaking, “Lieutenant, some of the men are concerned about this transfer. Why are we being sent to Garlin?”

“I assure you Jogan, as soon as I know, you’ll know.”

“Of course Lieutenant, sleep well.” Jogan saluted again and made his way back through the men, stopping on occasion to speak with some of them.

Alexander understood Jogan’s confusion. When the order came down for him to select three hundred of his riders and join up with Captain Edbar’s infantry unit, he didn’t understand. His confusion wasn’t relieved when he met up with the Captain, who wouldn’t give him any more information other than that they were to make way to Garlin, a city that hadn’t had a military unit stationed there in nearly a century.

Alexander wasn’t sure if the Captain’s unwillingness to pass on the orders was because he was ordered not to say, or if it was his disdain for Alexander. Captain Vanles Edbar had always viewed Alexander as a thorn in his hide. Alexander wasn’t sure what he had done to Edbar to garner such an attitude, but it didn’t seem to matter what he did. Before being transferred to his current post as the head of the Sixth Cavalry Unit, Alexander had been in command of the mounted brigade within the Third Infantry Unit under the command of Captain Edbar, though, Edbar was just a Lieutenant at the time and Alexander a Sergeant.

No matter what it was that Alexander did, Edbar seemed displeased. In the beginning, the Captain had assigned him to meaningless missions, apparently trying to bore Alexander into asking for a transfer, however, Alexander knew that the best chance he had to become an officer was to stay with the highly decorated Third Infantry Unit. After it became apparent that boring him wouldn’t work, Edbar began assigning Alexander to missions that were of the highest difficulty.

During the war between Beldin and Actaron, the infantry unit was often sent to the front lines. Edbar took the opportunity to send Alexander’s cavalry behind the enemy line. The thing that Edbar was unaware of at that time was that Alexander had always prided himself on his skill as a tactician. It was rare that Alexander couldn’t find some way of pulling a positive outcome from a near hopeless situation. When Alexander couldn’t find a way to a victory of some sort, he could usually find a method of retreat that kept the majority of his unit safe.

It wasn’t long before Edbar realized the benefit to having Alexander in his unit, however, when General Therad heard of Alexander’s exploits, he promoted him to Lieutenant and transferred him to lead the Sixth Cavalry. Alexander had originally hoped when he heard that Edbar was leading the troop transfer that his past disdain for Alexander had waned. It was quickly apparent that was not to be the case.

Alexander made sure that his tent was set up to his standards and began his way through the troops towards the Captain’s tent. As he approached, the two soldiers at the entrance to the tent saluted. Alexander returned the salute as he ducked into the tent.

“Captain Edbar,” Alexander said as he saluted.

Edbar held up a finger and continued to write something down. Alexander remained at attention and held the salute until he was recognized.

Finally, Edbar looked up, “Lieutenant Varross, what can I do for you this evening.”
Alexander released the salute but remained at attention, “Captain, I wanted to report that my patrols have returned and that they found nothing that we should be concerned with.”

“Of course not, we are a days march from Garlin with one infantry men and three hundred of your cavalry. Who in their right mind would try to attack us here?” Edbar looked back down to a sheet of paper before looking back up, “Is there something else?”

“Captain, excuse me for bringing this up again, but some of my men are concerned. Are you certain that there is nothing else about this assignment that you can share with me?” Alexander had asked that very question multiple times in the last month of travel from Beldin to Garlin and had always been met with silence and a dismissal. He hoped that this time would be different.

Captain Edbar placed what he was reading on his small desk before looking up at Alexander. He stood from his chair and walked over over to a large wooden chest. He opened the chest and rifled through it, finally pulling a sheet of paper out. He walked over to Alexander and handed him the sheet.

“That is exactly what I was given, if you can glean any more information from it, be my guest.” Edbar said before walked back to his chair.

Alexander unfolded the letter. At the top was the crest of the Beldin Army.

            Captain Vanles Edbar,
                    Your orders are to take one thousand of your infantry to Garlin. You will be met by Lieutenant Alexander Varross and three hundred of his riders. Soon after you arrive, you will receive a missive. The missive will explain your presence in Garlin. Until you receive this missive you are to assist the city guard in their protection and patrolling of the city. May your mission be a success and The Great Weaver watch over you.

                    Third General of the Beldinian Armed Forces
                        Lofric Therad


Alexander looked up at the Captain to find him staring back, “This is it? We are going to enter Garlin with no real reason and then we will receive new orders?”

Edbar smirked, “That’s it, however, the seal and the signature, as well as the handwriting as far as I can tell, are that of General Therad, so if it’s a forgery, it’s one of the best I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”

Alexander set the letter on the Captain’s desk, “Well then, if you have nothing for me Captain, I’ll be on my way.”

“Yes, yes, you’re dismissed.” Captain Edbar said waving his hand as he returned his attention to what was on his desk.

Alexander exited Edbar’s tent and started back to his own. As he approached he noticed Jogan standing outside the door flap impatiently. As soon as he noticed Alexander’s approach he stood at attention and saluted.

“Lieutenant,” Jogan spoke before Alexander could say anything, “You must come quickly, Corporal Bargun has been attacked!”

Alexander stiffened, “What? Quickly, take me to him.”
Jogan immediately began his way through the soldiers tents, “I’m not entirely sure what happened, I was making my way through the ranks as you had ordered me to. When I came upon the Corporal’s tent, I found him struggling with another man.”

“Was it one of ours?” Alexander asked.

Jogan’s head spun back to look at Alexander questioningly before returning to the path before him, “No sir, at least not that I’m aware of. He wore no uniform and I didn’t recognize his face. He is being held in another tent, under guard by six of our men.”

“Very good, how badly injured is Bargun?” Alexander hoped it wasn’t anything serious. Thomas Bargun was one of his better riders and could always be counted on t think for himself when it was needed.

“It didn’t look like anything too serious. The attacker had a knife, but it seems that the Corporal made it out with minor injuries.” Jogan quickly looked back at Alexander.

Alexander wasn’t sure how accurate Jogan’s report was, he had the tendency to misread injuries, making them seem like less of a trouble than they truly were.

Finally they came upon the group of small tents that Bargus had set up in. There was a medic looking the Corporal over as Alexander approached.

“Lieutenant!” Bargus said as he tried to stand. The medic held him fast.

Alexander saluted the man, “Don’t worry about about protocol right now Bargus,” Alexander looked to the medic, “How bad is he?”

“Well,” the medic said with a nasally voice, “He has a rather serious cut along his arm, but other than that he seems to have made it out with rather minor injuries. Once we stitch up the arm and he gives it a couple weeks rest, he should be back in optimal condition.”

“Nonsense Lieutenant, it’s just a small cut, I’ll be fit to ride by the morrow.” Bargus said confidently. Alexander saw the cut along his arm. It ran the length of his forearm. The medic had managed to slow the bleeding, but Alexander could also see the pile of rags it had taken to do so.

“Corporal,” Alexander began, “you’ll follow this man’s directions to the letter, if I hear that you have disobeyed him it will be as if you disobeyed me, understood?”

“Of course Lieutenant, to the letter.” The Corporal responded.

Alexander turned to Jogan, “Take me to the man that did this.”

Jogan spun on his heel and made his way about four tent groups over. There stood six guards with their swords trained on a lone man tied up and sitting on the ground.

Alexander stepped into the fire light. The six men noticed him and nodded, not wanting to take their swords from the man to salute. Alexander pointed to one of the soldiers, “Go and fetch the Captain, I think he’ll want to know about this.”

The soldier sheathed his sword and trotted off towards the Captain’s tent. Alexander stepped between two of the men guarding the prisoner and drew his sword. The rasp of steel against the scabbard rang out in the silence of the night.

“I am Lieutenant Alexander Varross, you are going to tell me who you are and why it is you attacked one of my men,” The man looked at Alexander and spat at his feet. Alexander chuckled before placing the point of his sword at the man’s neck, “I assure you, you would much rather tell me the answers than to wait for my Captain to get here. He’s not nearly the pleasant individual that I am.”

The man stared into Alexander’s eyes defiantly. Alexander examined the man’s face. The dark skin and the slight slant to his eyes marked him as Actarian. Alexander pressed the sword point against the man’s throat until he saw a trickle of blood run down his neck. The man’s eyes widened.

“Are you going to speak?” Alexander asked with a slight curve to his mouth.

“Y… yes, I’ll talk,” The man said.

“Good,” a voice said from behind him, Alexander turned to see Captain Edbar standing beside the fire, a hand on his hip, the other scratching his face, “have him brought to my tent, I’ll question him there. Alexander, good work catching him, is your man okay?”

“He’ll be fine Captain.” Alexander said as he stood and returned his sword to it’s sheathe.

“Very well, you’d best get some rest, I’m sending you and half of your riders ahead of us in the morning to prepare for our arrival and so that your man can get looked over by a healer.”

Alexander was surprised, he didn’t expect that, “Very well Captain,” he turned to the five men left encircling the prisoner, “Escort this man and the Captain back to his tent, stay there as long as Captain Edbar needs you,” he turned to Jogan, “I’m leaving it up to you to select the riders that will be going with us tomorrow, find them and let them know tonight, we ride with the sun. Captain, if there is nothing else, I’ll take my leave.”

Alexander stamped his fist to his chest, Edbar did the same. Show a strong front, Alexander thought to himself. There was no other reason Edbar would have shown the respect to Alexander he just did if it weren’t for the prisoner. Alexander left the tents and headed back to his own.

He sat down on his cot after making it back to his tent. He kicked off his boots and laid back.

Tomorrow we enter Garlin, what a fuss that’s going to cause, Alexander thought as he closed his eyes.

2 comments:

  1. I struggle between two choices.

    1. Feed the hunger and check in every Monday
    or
    2. Wait the three years it takes you to show the full MS to someone else.

    ...

    See ya next Monday.

    ReplyDelete
  2. --Thoughts on Chapter 2--

    We'll see how much of this chapter I can remember. I'm trying to avoid reading straight through because if I do, I'll want to revise now.

    In this chapter, my intention was to show a little bit more of what 'the crew' was and how they operated, as well as introduce the second main character, Alexander.

    With introducing the crew, I wanted it to be clear that Vansen was in charge, but everyone had a voice, even the youngest or most rebellious members. Probably in revision, I'll increase the amount of dialogue in an attempt to show more of the size of the crew, which I envision being 15-20 people, varying from age 14 to mid 20's.

    Then I had to figure out a way to introduce Alexander. Now in writing this, one of my major influences has been Robert Jordan's "Wheel of Time" which is probably my favorite book series to date. The problem I face however, is that my main characters start out having little to no connections at first. In the Wheel of Time series, the majority of the main characters are introduced within the first three chapters because they are all in the same place, a small village.

    With my characters, I have had to try and figure out a way to show their personalities and how they operate since I can't really use one person's narrative to describe them.

    With Alexander, one of the things I wanted to show was his sense of duty. I also wanted to show a little of his disdain for Captain Edbar, though even through that, he would still follow orders.

    Another thing I wanted to show was the respect that the fellow soldiers had for their lieutenant, especially with Jogan, who I envision holds Alexander in a light that would be akin to something higher than that of a Lieutenant.

    One of the other things I wanted to introduce was the tension between the Kingdom of Beldin and the Kingdom of Actaron. This tension is something that I intend of having play a role throughout the story, continually increasing, eventually becoming a major block in the plot that the characters must overcome. Again, in revision, I will probably make the event of the Actari attack a slightly larger scale so as to really show that animosity better.

    In the meantime, I hope you have enjoyed chapter two, and that you will return next week for chapter three.

    ReplyDelete