Introduction

Please feel free to comment, critique and ask questions.

Welcome to the Blog for my Work-In-Progress Novel "This Rising Darkness."

While reading, I would like you to keep in mind that this is a first draft. this means that it is un-edited and un-revised. There are going to be errors, plot-holes, and horrible dialogue. Most writers will tell you that stories really come out in revision, at least any that I've talked to have said that.

That being said, I hope you enjoy the story I have written and feel free to comment. Feel free to give constructive criticism in any responses you have

Monday, February 15, 2010

Chapter 3 - Old Friends and New Enemies

Alexander pulled the reins, bringing his gray gelding to a stop. Alexander had rode his men hard to make it to Garlin early in the day. He looked out before him at the walls of the city, the sun barely broke over them. History told that those walls had stopped numerous attacks before Beldin managed to gain control of the city. He knew the walls well. He had grown up only a couple days ride from Garlin.

Thinking of home brought a pang of guilt up in Alexander. His parents hadn’t been happy with his decision to leave and join the army. He still did what he could to help them, sending money regularly to help with the maintenance and the higher of hands to make sure crops and animals were taken care of. His mother often wrote back, thanking him for his help. He was sure his father complained every time the writ for a withdrawal came in, but the money was always taken from his accounts.

Perhaps I’ll ask for a couple days leave and visit home, Alexander thought. He had not been home in nearly ten years, and the last time was only a couple hours on his way through the area. He missed his home, the days toiling in the fields, the evening meals and tales told by his father. He even missed his older brother, who had his own family now, though he no doubt still worked his father’s farm.

Alexander recognized the sound of the horse’s canter coming up from behind him, he was not surprised when Jogan spoke, “Lieutenant, Bosber has returned, the city guard has been informed of our approach and are preparing for our arrival.”

Alexander nodded, not even looking at the man, thoughts still focused on home, “Good, signal the approach, look casual, we don’t want people to think we’re there to attack. Only swords, any other weapons should be put in saddle bags or secured in some other way. Anyone still wearing their leather should take it off now. Anyone found not following the order will find themselves in more trouble than they’d like.”

“Very good Lieutenant, I’ll spread the word.” Jogan wheeled his horse around and road back to the unit leaders. Riders spread out from the small group of men and word was spread throughout the unit.

Alexander smiled at the organization of his men. When he had been given the command of the Sixth Cavalry, they were a good unit. Alexander brought in a new chain of command, much to the displeasure of some of the senior riders, but it had formed a much more proficient chain of communication. Now, if he gave an order, he knew that within ten minutes, every man in the unit would know the command almost as if they’d heard it directly from Alexander’s lips. Alexander chirped to his gelding and started of towards Garlin at a casual walk.

The ride to the city was easy, and he could tell that the guard was anxious, but not worried as they approached the Western Gate. There was a group of five men standing a few paces outside the gate. Alexander soon recognized the uniforms of Garlin’s High Guard.

Alexander saluted as he pulled his gelding to a stop before the men. They returned the salute and Alexander dismounted. He walked forward, standing before who he assumed was the Captain of the Guard.

“May the sun grace your fields and your family thrive,” Alexander started in the formal greeting of Garlin.

“And the rain waters come and go, bringing only life,” the Captain finished, “It is good to meet a soldier that knows the ways of this city,” the man said, offering his hand.

“I grew up on a farm not far from here, this is home for me, I am Lieutenant Alexander Varross charged with the command of the Sixth Cavalry Unit,” Alexander replied as he took the man’s hand.

“I am Jefell Russent, Captain of the Guard here in Garlin. So, to what honor are we graced by you and your men?” the Captain said as he eyed Alexander’s riders.

“We have been sent here by General Therad. My men and I were sent ahead by Captain Vanles Edbar to prepare for the arrival of him and the rest of our men.” Alexander explained.

“Very well, how many men should we prepare for?” Jefell asked.

“With me I have one hundred fifty men, and as many horses. The Captain will be leading 1,150 men, with about two hundred more horses.”

Jefell’s eyes betrayed a look of shock, though he quickly covered it, “I see, I will send word immediately to ready the barracks and stables for you.”

Alexander could see the question on Jefell’s face. He wanted to know why so many men were being brought to Garlin. Of course, Alexander’s mind held the same question.

“If you will follow me and my men Lieutenant, we will lead you to the barracks.” Jefell turned and started back into the city.

Alexander mounted his horse and signaled his men before following the Captain of the Guard into the city. The looks on the faces of the people on the street were those of shock, anger, and awe as Alexander led his riders through the town. The men formed three perfect columns as their procession made its way down the street. A hush fell over the crowds as they watched. The ride through the city to the barracks seemed to take forever.

Finally, Jefell turned and looked to Alexander, “Here are the barracks. There should be men arriving soon to take your horses to the stables.”

Alexander dismounted as Jogan signaled for the rest of the men to do the same, “I thank you Captain Russent.”

Alexander squinted in the sunlight as he watched a carriage pull up to the barracks. The driver hopped down and quickly moved to the door, opening it and bowing a man through. The man was of decent age, silver marking his temples. He was well groomed and well dressed, obviously one of the nobles of the city. He wore a dark green suit of typical Garlin cut and carried an ornate dueling cane fitted with a large sapphire.

Jefell noticed Alexander’s sudden interest and turned to see what he was looking at. He started when he noticed who it was, “Ah, High Lord Bething, to what do we owe the honor?”

“Nothing to worry about Captain, I merely heard that there was a group of soldiers that had entered the city and came to see what the commotion was about.” The man’s tone was demanding and clear.

“Lord Bething,” Alexander said as he stepped forward, giving a salute and small bow, “I am Lieutenant Alexander Varross, commander of the Sixth Cavalry Unit of the Beldinian Army. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

“Lieutenant, I am Lord Juston Bething of House Bething. If you don’t mind my asking, what brings you and your men into our fair city?” Bething’s voice seemed to hold a tone of displeasure.
Alexander suddenly remembered the name. House Bething was one of the few noble houses that survived the capture of Garlin. They fought to maintain self-sufficiency in Garlin to keep a degree of separation from Beldin. Most of all, the family hated any the military in any respect.

“I’m afraid I have nothing to share with you. You will have to wait for Captain Vales Edbar to arrive with the rest of our men later this day, though I do not believe that it will be until sometime this evening.” Alexander explained while trying to maintain a level of formality.

“The rest of your men?” The Lord started, “Just how many do you bring to our city?”

“Thirteen hundred total Lord Bething, on the orders of General Lofric Therad.” Alexander said frankly.

Lord Bething’s eyebrows rose in what appeared to be shock and anger, “You will inform your Captain Edbar that I will be visiting him at my earliest convenience.” It wasn’t a question.

“Of course Lord Bething,” Alexander said with a bow.

As Alexander straightened, Lord Bething was already started back to his carriage, “My apologies Lieutenant Varross,” Jefell began.

Alexander cut him off, “It is no trouble Captain Russent, I assumed that we would be met with some anger when I first heard we were coming here. Now, if you would see to my men and their horses, there is an old friend I would like to visit.”

“Of course,” the Captain said as he turned to give orders.

Alexander turned to Jogan, handing him the reins to his horse, “Would you look to Cloud for me Jogan?”

“Of course Lieutenant,” he said as he took the reins.

“I’ll be back soon, there’s just an old friend here in the city I would like to see. You are in command until I return. The men are not to move from the barracks or the stables until I get back. Is that understood?”

“Yes Lieutenant,” Jogan nodded.

Alexander saluted before he turned and started down the street. It had been a long time since he had been to Garlin last, but he was certain that he could find what he was looking for.

Alexander made his way through the streets, stopping on Merchant’s street to buy a kabob of roasted meat and vegetables. While he was there he asked for directions to insure that he still knew where he was going. Many people gave him a wide girth, recognizing his uniform. There was little doubt that the news of soldiers in the city had been spreading like an uncontrolled fire throughout it’s inhabitants.
Finally Alexander found himself in front of the gates to manor estate of House Kensly. The gate guard eyed him carefully as he approached.

“Can I help you?” The large man asked, a hand resting on his sword-breaker.

“Yes, I am Lieutenant Alexander Varross and would like to visit with Cedric Eddes if that is possible.” Alexander noticed as the guard stiffened at the mention of the name.

Cedric Eddes had been a friend to Alexander for as long as he could remember. The man was a good twenty years older than Alexander, but had helped his father on the farm while Alexander was a child. He had taught Alexander the sword and so much more.

The gate guard waved down one of his fellow guards and gave an order. The second man hurried off in the direction of the manor house. Alexander waited patiently, standing outside the gate.

After a few minutes, the guard returned, giving a nod to the man at the gate, “All right, looks like you can see Captain Cedric. He should be in the courtyard this time of the day, I’ll have this man here lead you in.”

The guard opened the gate and Alexander walked through. He followed the second guard through the outer courtyard and into one of the entrances to the manor. Servants bustled through the halls; replacing flowers, cleaning tables, straightening tapestries and making any other changes to make the appearance of the manor that much better.

“Is it always this busy?” Alexander asked the guard.

“Wha… oh, no, not usually at least. Lord Kensly has a banquet coming up soon, so the whole house is busy in preparation.

Alexander nodded in understanding, remaining quiet until the guard stopped in front of a door, “The Captain is through here.”

“Thank you,” Alexander said. The guard turned and left. Alexander pulled open the door and stepping out into the inner courtyard. It was modest, at least as far as Alexander could tell. He assumed that most nobles had extravagant manors and gardens, yet from what Alexander had seen of the Kensly Manor so far, it seemed rather contained.

In the middle of the courtyard stood Cedric working through forms with a wooden practice sword. The man was just as Alexander remembered, if maybe a little larger in the middle. His skin was deeply tanned and though it held some gray, his hair and beard still held on to more of the blonde that Alexander now recognized as wholly Rhodaron.

Alexander walked into the courtyard and waited to be noticed. Cedric kept working through the forms until he turned and noticed Alexander standing there. The man grinned.
“One of my men told me that there was some soldier wantin’ to see me,” he said with a chuckle.

“Indeed, how are you old man?” Alexander started his way to his old mentor.

“I’m doin’ all right, I see that you’ve made lieutenant,” Cedric stated as the two men shook hands.

Alexander smiled, “I have, though I can’t say as it has been the joy I always thought it would be. Now I find myself here, two days ride from home, following orders I don’t understand and answering to Captain Vanles Edbar who I think would rather see me discharged than follow his orders as he gives them.”

“Welcome to the life of an officer,” Cedric said as he balked a laugh.

“And what of you?” Alexander asked, “Mother’s letter said that you had left the farm to join the guard here, not command it.”

“Ah, she doesn’t know the second part. When I left workin’ for your father to join the guard here, it was just with the intention of being just that, a guard. However, when Lord Kensly saw my skill with the blade, and how I worked with the men, he made me captain, just as soon as the previous captain retired,” Cedric explained.

“So, you went from working for my father to living in this?” Alexander said as he motioned around him.

“Trust me, it’s not always what it’s made out to be. Speaking of your family, you goin’ to visit them while your here?” Cedric had a knack for jumping into the area of your life that you wanted to talk about the least.

“I don’t know, I was thinking about it, but my father and I didn’t exactly part ways on the best of terms. I’m not too sure how much he’d appreciate a visit.”

“Don’t worried ‘bout none of that. He’s your da, if’n he gives you can trouble, let me know and I’ll be sure to stop by and knock some sense into him,” Cedric said with a laugh.

“So, what is it you do around here?” Alexander asked, trying to change the subject.

“Too much of what I’d rather not be doin’ and not enough of what I’d like to, quite a bit like you I’d imagine,” Cedric laughed again, “however, here in a little bit, I’ll be givin’ a lesson to the young lord. He’s decent with the blade, nothing like you were, but capable.”

“I see, perhaps I should be on my way then.” Alexander said, not wanting to get in the way.

“Nonsense, just be sure to stay out of the way and keep quiet, I don’t need you going and confusing the boy,” Cedric said sarcastically.

Alexander shared a laugh with his old friend. At least I know that I’m welcome here, Alexander thought as he continued his conversation with his old friend.

2 comments:

  1. Ah, Chapter 3. The original Chapter 2. You see, while laying out the story, the last chapter didn't exist, and this one was somewhat different, since it had to introduce Alexander.

    However, as I sat down to write this Chapter, I just felt that things weren't flowing right, so I put this chapter on hold and wrote the one before it.

    Something that I want to go back and capture in revision is the idea of someone returning home. Alexander is familiar with Garlin. Not in the way that Matthew is familiar with it, but in more the returning home familiarity.

    I intend on putting more description focused around Alexander's thoughts as he travels through the city.

    Another thing I want to capture is Lord Bething's disdain for the military and his suspicion at their sudden arrival. Now, all-in-all, 1,300 soldiers in today's mind isn't a whole lot, and for the Beldin military it really isn't either. I figure the Beldinian armed forces are made up of about 100,000-125,000 men. So 1,300 is only barely 1% of that.

    But, when you take into consideration the fact that Garlin has not had a contingent of soldiers inside it's walls in nearly half a century, the appearance of such a group would cause worry at the least.

    Other than that, I'm happy with this chapter, and once the extra description is in, I think the pacing will be a little smoother.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like the description so far. Great use of militaryese, I could never spit that out. I think this chapter does what it's supposed to do: keep the reader interested. After chapter three a lot of books drop off, so I am interested to see what you have in store next week.

    I like the news up top!

    ReplyDelete